Pee in Pants

Tonight was one of those nights in which I left work upset. I’m not going to elaborate, but I’m raw right now and I’ve been crying for about an hour straight. My eyes are red and puffy and I have snot pouring from my nose.

Despite how upset I am, I am very appreciative for two things. The first is my mom. I am so lucky to have a mother who I can wake up at midnight to talk to me. I am lucky that she is a nurse and knows what it is to be a nurse. I am even luckier that she was a former ED nurse IN this department so knows the unit like the back of her hand. I am so lucky that I have her, I can’t even really put it into words right now how grateful I really am.

The second is that I still have my sense of humor at a time like this. I was in the bathroom, washing my face, and went to blow my nose and all of the sudden I peed a little bit in my pants. PEED IN MY PANTS!!! I have never ever in my life done such a thing. So, now I’m sitting in my bathroom, puffy eyed and snot faced with pee in my underpants and thinking, “Well, now that I’m getting old I guess it’s time that my bladder function starts to go. Guess I’ll have to re-name my blog Mommy Nurse Wife and Pee in Pants at 26” and then I had a good chuckle and felt better.

I think I’d be OK right now if I wasn’t so goddamn sleep deprived, I really do. Tonight I just got pushed over the edge and feel vulnerable and I really think it’s because I’m very low in the sleep department.

So, I’m off to take a Benadryl or Ativan or something that will help me sleep and call it a night. It’s 1:08 AM right now and the kids will start getting up at 5. Luckily I have a wonderful husband who gets up with them and I’ll be able to sleep until 7 or so…hopefully.